Stop the Pork’s “Weekly Waste Watch” is your one-stop destination for examples of government waste that has been uncovered by John Kline and House Republicans. Each week, we’ll identify a new example of how Washington is wasting your hard-earned money.

This Week’s Weekly Waste Watch

$71,623 in Stimulus Funds for Monkey Business

(March 10, 2010) – The University of Wake Forest is spending $71,623 in taxpayer funds to study the effects of cocaine addiction on monkeys. Civitas Institute, a North Carolina conservative think tank, has ranked this project as the worst stimulus project in the state. Mark Wright, spokesman for the Wake Forest University School of Medicine, said that this study is the “continuation of a job.” Thus, the study pays for exactly one job—or at least the “continuation” of exactly one job. Winston-Salem, home of Wake Forest, has a 10 percent unemployment rate. Lee Price, a resident of Winston-Salem who has been unemployed for over a year, is not happy about the expenditure: “I’m just thinking it’s money that is supposed to be spent toward improving something — not for… monkeys.”

Previous Weekly Waste Watches:

One Year Later, Dept. of Energy Has No Jobs to Show For $58 Million Spent on Rhode Island Weatherization

(March 1, 2010) – The U.S. Department of Energy’s Weatherization Assistance Program was awarded almost $5 billion in Stimulus funds to have “homes tuned-up by energy experts.” The White House boasted the program would create a “huge number of new jobs,” while targeting 590,000 homes for weatherization updates. Rhode Island, among other states, received $58 million in Stimulus money for the Weatherization Assistance Program. Yet, they and 4 other states have not distributed a single penny on the program. To date, less than 8 percent of the $4.73 billion appropriated for the entire project has actually been used.

Gregory Friedman, inspector general of the Department of Energy, noted his disappointment, saying: “The job-creation impact of what was considered to be one of the department’s most ‘shovel ready’ projects has not materialized.” Part of the problem has been both anti-competitive Davis-Bacon regulations and state hiring freezes.

$384,000 in Stimulus Money for a Made-for-Hollywood Teachers’ Conference

(Feb. 23, 2010) – This week’s installment comes from DeKalb County in Georgia, where $382,900 in Stimulus money was spent earlier this month to send 200 of its public school employees to Hollywood, California, for 4-day conference hosted by America’s Choice, a self-described “solution provider.” Dale Davis, the school system’s spokesman, indicated that the school system spent $291,400 in federal taxpayer money on hotels, flights, meals, and incidentals. Which is not surprising considering that the primary hotel for the conference was the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel and Spa, with nightly rates beginning at $239. No jobs seemed to have been created, retained, or saved on a conference short on details. In fact, the DeKalb school system is facing “severe budget problems.”

Over $3.5 Billion Going to Programs Set to Be Cut or Reduced

(Feb. 17, 2010) – More than $3.5 billion in economic stimulus funds are going to programs that President Obama wants to eliminate or trim in his new budget… The administration’s budget plan says the corps and USDA programs are inefficient and duplicate similar, more effective work by other agencies. The proposed cuts indicate the programs shouldn’t have gotten money from the $862 billion stimulus package, said Tom Schatz of the non-partisan budget watchdog Citizens Against Government Waste.” It’s certainly inconsistent, and it would have been better to have this realization a year ago,” Schatz said. “But if inconsistency means they’re going to cut the programs, it’s OK. It’s the other way around that bothers us.”

$7 Million in Stimulus Funds Spent on a Bridge to No Benefits

(Feb. 4, 2010) $7 million in taxpayer stimulus funds are being used to build a bridge in Thedford, Neb.. The purpose of the bridge? Helping 168 residents avoid a 30 second wait at a local train crossing. But according to Mike Hodges, a local business owner, crossing the bridge won’t even help residents avoid the current 30 second wait time — it will actually take longer to cross the new roundabout bridge. Will the bridge at least create jobs? Not for Thedford. Town Chairman Judy Taylor complained that the bridge contract was awarded to a Colorado company that is using their own workers. In fact, not one full-time job will be created through the construction of this $7 million bridge. CNN closed their segment by saying this about the bridge: “No economic benefit, no full time jobs, and a lot of taxpayer dollars used to cross the road.”

New York College Receives $390,000 in Stimulus Funds to Study the Effects of Malt Liquor and Marijuana on Adults

(Jan. 25, 2010) The State University of New York at Buffalo received $390,000 in Stimulus funds to conduct a study on the relationship between drinking malt liquor and using marijuana. One hundred people will be paid $45 a day for three weeks by taxpayers to drink malt liquor and smoke marijuana. The Stimulus money also will pay the salaries of three full-time employees and part of the lead researcher’s salary to conduct the study over the next two years. According to a CNN poll, 56 percent of Americans now oppose the Stimulus package. The Waste Watch can only assume that “studies” like this are the reason for the ever-increasing disapproval rating.

True or False; Stimulus Road Projects Have Decreased Unemployment Rates. FALSE

(Jan. 19, 2010) Last February, President Obama signed into law his $757 billion Stimulus package which dumped money into road projects throughout the country. Ten months after the bill was enacted, the AP conducted an analysis on whether road projects actually decrease local unemployment rates. This analysis was later reviewed by five independent economists at five universities.

The AP came to the conclusion, which was backed up by the economists, that the Stimulus had no affect on local unemployment and barely helped the construction industry. The AP found that the there was hardly any “connection between stimulus money and the number of construction workers hired or fired since Congress passed the recovery program.” The AP also found that “local unemployment rates rose and fell regardless of how much stimulus money Washington poured out for transportation.”

$50,000 in Stimulus Funds for New Tennis Courts

(Jan. 11, 2010) Bozeman, Montana is spending $49,410 to install new rubber-tiled tennis courts at the city’s Bogert Park. The tennis courts are being funded out of the $621,000 Bozeman has received in federal stimulus dollars. Brian Schweitzer, governor of Montana, believes this is a waste of government funds. And while the residents of Bozeman will be able to play tennis on brand new courts come June, they still won’t have any new jobs to show for the project. Game, Set, Match.

$500,000 in Stimulus Funds to be Spent on Ants

(Dec. 15, 2009) Arizona State University has received a grant from the National Science Foundation totaling $500,000 in Stimulus funds to study “the genetic differences between queen and worker ants.” ASU vice president of research and economic affairs, Rick Shangraw, notes that the ant study will preserve two jobs for “this fiscal quarter.” Meaning, the stimulus is spending $250,000 per job saved per quarter year. By that math, the stimulus will need to spend $1 million to save a single job for a full year.

$6 Million in Stimulus Funds to Save 3 Jobs for Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Pollster

(Dec. 10, 2009) A public relations firm run by Mark Penn, current Secretary of state Clinton’s former presidential campaign pollster, received a total of $5.97 million in taxpayer funds from the Democrats’ stimulus. Burson-Marsteller, a public-relations and communications firm run by Penn, received the funding to advertise the analog-to-digital television switch in 2008, reportedly saving 3 jobs at the firm. Of the $5.97 million, $2.8 million was also allocated to Penn’s campaign polling company, Penn, Schoen & Berland. Thus, at the end of the day, taxpayers spent nearly $6 million to save 3 jobs for Hillary Clinton’s pollster.

$25,000 in Stimulus Funds for Free Concerts

(Dec. 3, 2009) The Sacramento Philharmonic Orchestra is receiving $25,000 in federal stimulus funds to provide five free concerts in the Sacramento area. The concerts will run from Dec. 3-7 and will include such programs as Bohuslav Martinu’s “Kitchen Revue,” where audiences can imagine the “life of a pot, a lid, a broom and a dishrag.”

While free community concerts are certainly admirable, it’s unclear how they produce jobs during a recession. According to Marc Feldman, executive director of the Sacramento Philharmonic, this money will give 10 of his musicians (whose jobs do not appear to be in any danger), “a good long week of work.”

Halloween or Stimulus? National Park Service Using $25,000 in Stimulus Funds to Buy a ‘Bat Gate’

(Nov. 20, 2009) – In Great Basin National Park, Nevada, the National Park Service is offering up to $25,000 in stimulus funds for a contract to build a “bat compatible gate.” The proposed 8 foot-by-8 foot gate will be built in the opening of an abandoned mine in the Lincoln Canyon.

Great Basin National Park, which already has a dozen similar gates throughout the park, constructs them to allow bats access, but keep humans out. The proposed expenditure begs the question of who the stimulus is going to benefit – humans or animals? Earlier this year, stimulus money was spent to help turtles cross a road in south Florida.

$1.3 Million Spent for Archaeological Surveys on Man Made Lakes in Connecticut

(Nov. 13, 2009) – In Connecticut, $1.3 million of stimulus money was spent for archaeological surveys and routine maintenance on man made lakes. Local and state officials have expressed frustration with the use of stimulus funds for “oddball projects like these.” Charles LeConche, business manager of the Connecticut Laborers District Council, responded candidly to these federally funded projects: “That wasn’t the intent of the stimulus package. The intent was to create jobs. My Local in New London has 500 people out of work!”

Exactly how helpful has the stimulus been for jobs in Connecticut? Donald Shubert, president of the Connecticut Construction Industry Association answers: “Back in February and March, everyone’s expectation was that the stimulus money would have a big impact on jobs here,” he said. “It didn’t come true. Very little actual work is taking place.”

$2.3 Million in Stimulus Funds for Beauty School Tuitions

(Nov. 6, 2009) -Eight Tampa Bay cosmetology and massage schools are receiving $2.3 million in Stimulus funds to pay the tuitions for hairdressers, masseuses and nail technicians. The $2.3 million is coming out of the Pell Grant program which received $17 billion in federal stimulus grants.

$1.5 Million in Stimulus Funds to Synchronize Suburban Traffic Lights

(Oct. 30, 2009) – Louisville, Ky., is using $1.5 million in Stimulus funds to synchronize traffic lights on several of its surrounding suburban roads. The goal of which is to shorten the amount of time the city’s commuters spend sitting at each traffic light. As a result, American taxpayers will help subsidize the convenience of 60,000 suburban residents.

$4 Million in Stimulus Funds to Build Bike Trail to Taco Bell

(Oct. 23, 2009) -The Federal Highway Administration (FHA) spent $4 Million in stimulus funds to build a bike trail to Taco Bell. Apparently, the FHA felt it was necessary to allocate $4 million in federal stimulus dollars to build a 2.66 mile bike trail in Massachusetts. The planned corridor will provide a new path connecting the Manhan Bike Trail to the Northampton and Norwottuck Trails. Once the new trail is completed, the Manhan bikers will finally have access to the Taco Bell in Northampton.

$8.2 Billion in Stimulus Funds for Questionable Studies in Foreign Countries

(Oct. 17, 2009) -Under the House Republican Stimulus Alternative, the National Institutes of Health received $8.2 billion in stimulus funds. Recent reports suggest that the NIH is using a substantial portion of this money for questionable studies in foreign countries. Specifically, the NIH is conducting a $65,472 study on the relationship between HIV and sex in St. Petersburg, Russia; a $700,000 study on how taxes, trade and politics affect tobacco sales in Thailand, Malaysia, Vietnam and other nations in Southeast Asia; and a $73,000 study on whether the Asian tradition of dragon boat racing will enhance the lives of cancer survivors.

$3.4 Million to be Spent Helping Turtles Cross the Road

(Oct. 10, 2009) – The Florida Department of Transportation will spend $3.4 million in Stimulus funds to build an “eco-passage” for turtles and other animals under U.S. Highway 27 in Jackson Lake, Florida. The project will consist of a series of fences to direct turtles to a 13-foot long tunnel under the highway, helping them avoid the oncoming traffic. Local columnist Mark Hohmeister, acutely wrote of his co-worker’s reaction to the project, “FSU [Florida State University] is talking about laying off 200 people and we’re protecting turtles?”

Yet, even with this influx of stimulus money, the turtle tunnel project will still not be completed. Local community activists estimate the real cost of the project at $6 million. So, rather than creating jobs, stimulus money will be spent on building half-finished turtle tunnels.

Stimulus Funds Used to Rehabilitate Homes Scheduled to be Demolished

(Oct. 3, 2009) – Picher Housing Authority in Oklahoma received $135,494 in stimulus money from the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) so they could rehabilitate homes and business in the Tar Creek Superfund site which is currently scheduled to be demolished. The Tar Creek Superfund is composed of “undermined” homes and businesses. Only 19 of the 54 homes within the site have active water accounts with Picher City. When asked about the funds for the site, Senator James Inhofe (OK) said, “It doesn’t make sense to send over $100,000 up there to a place that we are closing down.” Inhofe has since asked HUD to hold the funds allocated for this particular project.

Wisconsin Uses $15.8 Million in Stimulus Money on Rarely Used Bridges – Leaves Deficient Bridges Wanting

(Sept. 24, 2009) – Wisconsin has decided to use their Stimulus money to repair 37 bridges that carry only about 500 cars each day, ignoring 1,256 “structurally deficient” bridges in need of immediate repair.

One rural bridge in Iowa County, which will receive $430,000, carries only about 10 cars a day. $840,000 will be spent to connect 260 cars a day to a golf course and Rusty’s Backwater Saloon. Dave Lucey, one town chairman receiving stimulus funding for a little-used bridge, commented in astonishment, “I was surprised as anyone… I can tell you that bridge is a low priority for us.” Meanwhile, 1,256 “structurally deficient” bridges of Wisconsin go untreated by the Democrats’ Stimulus money. According to the State of Wisconsin, small “low priority” projects were moved to the front of their line because the more needy bridges would take too long to repair.

$ 2 Million of Stimulus Funds Spent on Center for Dance

(Sept. 17, 2009) – The Minneapolis City Council recently voted to use federal stimulus funds to convert a vacant 99-year-old theater into a center of dance instead of funding a solar-energy-panel manufacturing plant that would have created 7 times as many jobs. The center of dance project will cost 2 million stimulus dollars and only create 48 permanent jobs according to the City. Interestingly, in the Spring Newsletter, the theatre estimated that completing the project would actually only create 26 full and part-time permanent jobs. At only 26 jobs, each permanent jobwould cost $76,923 to create.

The solar-energy-panel manufacturing plant that was in competition for the stimulus funds received less than 300 thousand dollars, compared to the dance center’s 2 million. Yet, the plant would have created more than 360 jobs by 2011. Because of the insufficient funds the Council appropriated to the plant, their chief executive officer indicated the plant could not be opened in Minneapolis.